Halloween Horror Nights 2023 (USH) - Reviews, Photos and Video

[DTH]

It was 9:39pm and we had finished 6 mazes, so it was definitely time for dinner. Went to my usual spot of Three Broomsticks, which has such a great amount of seating where you can easily find enough space for you and your group. It honestly never fails, even if the service is a little slow.

After that, headed to Terror Tram sporting a 30 minute wait at 10:41pm, but was really a long walk on of 6 minutes. Opening motel sequence is great, easily one of my favorite Motel scenes they’ve done and very fun and creative. It’s such a fun rocking time, but then just like last time, everything after is a complete dud. Seriously, WHAT IS HAPPENING HERE? The Spider-Alley all the way to Nope had NOBODY. Not a single scare actor in all of the War of the Worlds set. We encountered one person in the mini set, and the shopping cart scare actor, but that was it — there weren’t even chainsaw men at the end! If it is this understaffed, literally just close the thing. It’s bad enough there are dead areas like the pre-motel scene, the hill up to the house, and the street before the Nope set, but to see maybe two scare actors between Bates Motel and the Nope set is INSANE. Nope set was rocking like always, so I give them props for that. Unfortunately, half of this experience is severely lacking. I standby this is the one of the worst trams in history and honestly, maybe the worst one ever. Even Scream 4 Your Life was populated, but this is just shameful. Literally a waste of time — only see it if you are way ahead of schedule.
F

Luckily I had some extra time on my hands and I honestly didn’t know what to do with it. Purge wasn’t for another hour and it wasn’t time for us to head back down to the Lower Lot, so we hit the thing we missed last time when I had Express — Blumhouse, sporting a 20 minute wait at 11:28pm and it was exactly that. The Grabber was so amazing in the line, literally jumping over the chains to go after people — he chased my wife and I saw him SPRINTING after people in the queue. Fantastic job. The pre-show room is okay, but I find Blumhouse to be severely overrated and not iconic, that their props are so lackluster. At least the Five Nights costumes looked cool. And ya know, I heard people say the clips in the show were short, but I had no idea it was THIS short — not even a full on trailer. This really is all about MEGAN and it was a very subtle way to have a MEGAN dance show, which honestly I appreciate. It was fun and people were into it, short and sweet, and it gave us everything we needed. How they got all the girls to be the exact same height is insane — also, what makeup do they use for their faces to make them more doll like? It’s so unsettling. Only see it if you are way ahead of schedule or the wait is 20 minutes or under. My rating for this honestly is just for the Grabber out front and the MEGAN dance, so for me it was a —
B

Waited around for Purge for about 40 minutes for it’s 12:30am showing because I didn’t know what else to do. Honestly, the system to seat people here just sucks. Why they make people go through the back is beyond me — I noticed they started doing this with regular WaterWorld shows too and it’s maddening and very inefficient. I was one of the first people to show up, waited the longest to see this show probably more than 95% of the people in that theater, so tell me why they forced me all the way to the very side of the theater instead of being able to get center? Annoying. Anyway, crowd seemed into it today. Girl in front of me was cheering as if she knew the show, so I assume she’s a FFP as a fan, a local, or knew someone in the show. The cues weren’t super off this time either, so it wasn’t oddly awkward for beats. I still think the beginning 3 or so minutes are boring as heck though and that the story is insanely weird with not knowing who to cheer for. Seriously, this had ZERO re-writes the ENTIRE season? I figured it would be a complete overhaul by now, but it’s exactly the same. It’s fine if you have an hour to kill — only highly recommend it if you haven’t seen WaterWorld before, other than that, you are good to skip.
C

With only an hour left, I was banking on my theory that the lower lot is dead for the last hour. And I was absolutely right. Droves of people were exiting the lower lot to empty it out. Stranger Things was sporting a 30 minute wait at 1:11am and was actually 25. We weren’t waiting in the area with the TVs, so that felt kind of purposeless to have them running at all. I like the environment inside the soundstage, I got to really soak it up this time — for all the mazes actually, this is one benefit you miss with Express — and I dug the vibe. So far at this point, with Terror Tram as an exception, all the attractions have improved since last time, so how does this fair? Honestly, still not great. It is flawed by its design. I saw a few new moments I hadn’t seen before, but it couldn’t help it. The Max on the staircase scene is still a terrible moment to put two live actors in, let alone make a “scare” or the focus of the room — but these guys are trying their hardest to make it different every time they have to repeat their scene to keep it fresh, but I can’t imagine how insane it must be to repeat that over and over. This is what I mean by flawed by its design — WHY did they choose to make the maze this way when there is SO much material in season 4? I am so disappointed they couldn’t get this right. Props to Steve with an axe though, got us super good at some point.
C-

Last of Us sported a 10 minute wait but was a walk on at 1:45am. There was nobody in front or behind us, so we definitely got the intended product, and it is a much different experience. I expected everyone to be winding down because it was the end of the night, but these guys went so hard on us. It was such a great blend of the theatrical and the scares, some that’d be 2-3 in a room. One thing I really applaud is for whatever reason, you don’t hear or see the trigger scares in the other rooms, so we had no idea where the scares would come from in here. Really enjoyed this round of going through, I had more fun with it for sure.
A

We had about 10 minutes left, but we were dead tired, so we didn’t make a go for any repeats of the other mazes or for Mummy and decided to head out. Do they still do chainsaw chase out? I feel like I haven’t seen it in a while. A bit peeved I couldn’t drive on to my usual route back on the 101, but it all worked out nonetheless. Everything went smoothly and it wasn’t too much of a cluster, so I at least applaud operations on the roads, doing much better handling people than in the parks.

OVERALL
The mazes were much better than my first experience. And oddly enough, I got all the Horror Nights attractions in, easier than the time I had Express! Make it make sense! As much as I loved the ease of Express and not waiting in lines, it really makes me question a couple of things — because as you can tell, even on this crowded Saturday night during peak time — I still got EVERYTHING done with TIME TO SPARE! My longest wait was 36 minutes for Evil Dead Rise, not including the Early Access waiting for mazes to open or re-open. Honestly, this was probably the easiest run through I’ve had of Horror Nights since the late 00s on a weekday. While paying for Early Access is NOT THE VIBE, it is still much cheaper than paying for Express, which was nearly $400 tonight. We were fully prepared to upgrade to after 11pm Express if we needed it, but by 9pm, we knew that was nowhere near a necessity. I’m not sure what I will do next year, but I do know that opening weekend is getting overbearing and the mazes just aren’t fully fleshed yet to warrant it. Should I wait until second weekend? Should I bother with Express? Should I even bother going twice and just go once towards the end of the run like I used to? What if I got Express that time? Clearly Early Access is necessary, but will I be willing to pay for it more than once? This trip definitely made me ponder a lot of things and luckily I have a year to mull it over.
*Scream finally happens in 2024*
“So anyway, I got FFP and Express for every night…”

MAZE RANKINGS TONIGHT:
The Last of Us - A
Evil Dead - A
Monstrous - A
Holidayz in Hell - A-
Chucky - B+
Exorcist - B+
Universal Monsters Unmasked - B
Stranger Things 4 - D-
Terror Tram: Exterminatorz - F

MAZE RANKINGS OVERALL FOR THE YEAR:
Chucky: Ultimate Kill Count - A- (down from an A+) [same ranking]
Monstrous: The Monsters of Latin America - A- (same grade) [same ranking]
The Last of Us - A- (up from a B+) [same ranking]
Evil Dead Rise - A- (up from a B+) [same ranking]
Holidayz in Hell - B+ (up from a B) [up one ranking]
The Exorcist: Believer - B (up from a B-) [up one ranking]
Universal Monsters: Unmasked - B (same grade) [down two rankings]
Stranger Things 4 - D (down from a C+) [same ranking]
Terror Tram: Exterminators - F (down from a D) [same ranking]

My maze grades overall went up, aside from the ones at the bottom. Maze rankings for the most part stayed within the same area, except Monsters Unmasked went down two rankings — which isn’t saying it’s bad or worse than last time, it just shows how strong Holdayz was tonight and Exorcist was a bit better this go around. My opinion of the year overall has gone up just a tad, but it still remains as a B, mainly because Stranger Things faults show a bit more and somehow Exterminatorz got worse. Seriously, those two things are dragging it WAY down. Also missing is a bonafide masterpiece of a maze — I honestly don’t think we’ve had one since 2019 (imo, US and Killer Klowns). Here’s to hoping in 2024, the even numbered year theory comes in clutch so the 2020s can finally get us back to 2016 territory.
B

 

[viking_wizard_eyes]

Alrighty, HHN 2023 has wrapped for me personally. Three visits total, with the last one happening last Friday with an unlimited express pass. Overall, I feel like this is one of the strongest years in a long time. I don't want to spend time complaining about the prices, and the operations, and the various ways park management can make this event difficult to enjoy, despite it being great. The greatness comes from the creative teams and the actors and all the people on the ground who are putting on an amazing show despite management doing them what feels like zero favors. Major kudos to them, as always.

Anyway, house rankings:

1. Chucky: Ultimate Kill Count Seems like this is more or less the consensus number one this year, and it's definitely number one for me. The main knock against it -- and it's a fair knock, in my opinion -- is that it's not all that scary. But I think one of the best things about it is it expands the notion of what an HHN house can be, and how it can operate. Because yeah, maybe it's not as intense as some of the others, but it absolutely fits perfectly within the event, and I think if it had gone for more intensity, it would have fallen on its face. (This is the issue with Orlando's house, in my opinion.) This is by far the funnest house of the year, in my eyes, which is why it's my number one. (A)

2. The Last of Us I'm here to eat all the crow. This was low on my list of most anticipated houses, but I loved my first run and it only went up from there. You can always tell when a house gets an assist from the creative folks behind the IP (Jordan Peele with Us; Abel with The Weeknd), and I think that's the case here. A very intense and very kinetic house with a lot of moving parts that were never out of place during any of my runs, which is pretty wild to think. (Chucky had a couple miscues that I forgave.) One of those houses that prioritizes narrative and really ratchets up as you move through it. Just a winner from top to bottom. (A)

3. Monstruos: The Monsters of Latin America Moment to moment, the scariest and most intense house of the year for me. In recent years, it seems like the team has utilized the small square footage of this location to maximize the level of intensity, and that was especially true this year. I also love the dark humor -- the "Tú" gravestone made me laugh out loud more than once -- and the mixture of puppets/animatronics and actors. I couldn't tell which were which on my first run and got some of the best scares I've ever had at this event. Repeat visits upheld the intensity, too. Between this and La Llorona last year, I'm excited to see where this theme goes next. (A)

4. Evil Dead Rise Yes, formally, it's hard not shake Horror Hotel from last year. However, as far as IP adaptation goes, this is second to TLOU in terms of execution. I rewatched the movie in between my first and second visit and they really, really nailed bringing it to life. Which, ya know, makes sense since the entire space was calibrated for this movie to begin with. So ultimately I'm glad we didn't get something different here because then we would have been robbed of this one. Consistently great runs throughout the season, too. My biggest complaint is I wish certain scenes from the movie -- like the cheese grater -- could have been represented, but overall it's a great IP house. (A-)

5. Stranger Things 4 After my first run with this, I was convinced it'd end up being number one overall. And maybe it's just because previous iterations of this IP have been so lackluster, but I remember thinking "Yes, we finally got a good Stranger Things house." I still think it's a really good house, but it definitely dropped in rankings. The more I went through it, the more I felt like it was short on scares. It does that Orlando thing, where you just kinda watch scenes play out rather than being immersed in them. That said, the design and detail is top-notch, and while the scares are kinda lacking IMO, the ones that are there are great. The twisted-face Chrissy got me every run. (B+)

6. The Exoricst: Believer Excellent pace in this house. Like TLOU, it had the narrative down right and the tension really amped up as you went along. (Aside from that weird bedroom scene where literally nothing happens?) Some of the strongest scenic of any maze this year, and great scrim work in here, too. Lots of talk of smells this year (for good reason), and the barn scene made me gag a couple times. This was also the foggiest house this year, especially in those red hallways. Sometimes it was so thick you could barely see in front of you, which maybe isn't great from a safety standpoint but worked atmospherically. Another great example of IP adaptation in that it's way better than the movie it's based on. (B+)

7. Holidayz in Hell It's a slightly plussed-up version of the last one, which I didn't love. I enjoyed the smells and the actors were consistently good (like they were last time), but the concept is extremely one-note, and it's inconsistent from section to section. Like the Halloween stretch -- some people really enjoy all the pumpkins, and the music, but to me it's just so basic, which is ironic given it's the Halloween section. But then the St. Patrick's Day and Independence Day chunks are super strong. (Got a really, really great scare during the latter that I'll remember for a long time.) It's a failure of theme: in trying to have a room for every major holiday, it becomes uneven because there's only so much space you can utilize. (C)

8. Universal Monsters: Unmasked I don't have any idea what's happening in this house. I did it a half dozen times and I could not tell you really what the story is. I just know the monsters are hanging out in the Paris catacombs. Which would be fine if the overall execution was better, but kinda like Stranger Things, it's another "Orlando" house where you just kinda watch stuff. Unlike Stranger Things, though, the scenic isn't nearly as good and the details are lacking. Seems like their idea to compensate for this was to spray us with water over and over? Idk. Really disappointed in this because Monster houses are usually so strong but this is a dud. (D)

I'd give the Terror Tram a C+, and like last year, it's only because of the Jordan Peele portion. I really liked that they added a few extra elements along the path -- I think any chance you get to spruce up the experience is good. Larry Larva was okay (better than Hollywood Harry, for sure) but idk. Not the most inspired experience.

As for shows, The Purge: Dangerous Waters is an easy A. Does it make sense from moment to moment? No. Is there blood and fire and lazers and jet skis? Yes. I thought Blumhouse: Behind the Screams was okay if a little underwhelming. Not having a M3GAN house feels like a huge miss but this was better than nothing -- I'd give it a B-.

So yeah, a great year, and also a transitional year. New house locations, new shows, new interactions -- can't wait to see how these aspects evolve as we move forward.