*This is a spoiler review*
INTRO
Entering, and even in City Walk, the Halloween atmosphere has definitely been amped. There are TWO Halloween stores and the Studio Store is filled with various merch. I give major kudos to Universal for finally listening to the reviews to make this event FEEL more like Halloween time. The overall presence of Halloween-ness around the park was very appreciated as well. Way less dead zones, although I will say something is still needed on the lower lot, but I’ll give it a pass for now since they have Killer Known BBQ and The Weeknd bar. Lined up at the gates at 4pm and it was surprisingly empty. They didn’t let us in until about 5:15pm and headed straight for The Weeknd…
THE WEEKND: AFTER HOURS NIGHTMARE
Advertised Wait: 90 minutes
Time in Line: 5:38pm
In the Maze: 6:23pm
Actual Wait: 45 minutes
They play some Weeknd music videos while waiting in line, which I appreciate, and I was waiting for something to lend itself to the horror atmosphere. At some point, the music slows down and I thought, “oh, here we go.” But then…that’s all it does. Slows down for a few seconds then goes back to normal. And I am sad to say, the maze music is pretty much the same. I didn’t get much of the “horror-version” sense as I did with other musician mazes. Speaking of which, I have never been a fan of them. How does this fare in comparison? I am sad to report, I am still very much not a fan. I was very hesitant even hearing about this idea and while they clearly put a HUGE budget into this maze — it’s one of the best looking ones this year, for sure — the scares and atmosphere overall are fairly weak. My main gripe is most of the scares are repetitive. Mannequin scare in almost every room. Is this really it? What am I missing here? Other than the cosmetic surgery room, which we’ve seen in a maze before (was it Alice Cooper?) and some creepy toad men, I was bored. My friends liked it, but weren’t extremely enthusiastic, but just enough to enjoy their time but I think they just boogied with the music, not necessarily scared. I literally just don’t understand how this works for Horror Nights when there’s so many other properties and ideas they could do. I have the hardest time even calling this horror. I think, “maybe I’m just a grandpa,” but I love The Weeknd! Facade was…fine. Performances were pretty good, there was a dancing Abel really hitting the moves in there. For me, this all comes to the scares, and there’s just way too many mannequin scares in almost every room. I came in with a “really?” And left with an even harder, “really?!” I wanted this maze to prove me wrong, but if it weren’t for some repeats this year, it’d be dead last.
C-
UNIVERSAL MONSTERS: LEGENDS COLLIDE
Advertised Wait: 60 minutes
Time in Line: 6:33pm
In the Maze: 7:22pm
Actual Wait: 49 minutes
I think the story set up with the video needs to happen much earlier, maybe if they could project somewhere, but I had no idea what was being said, and I barely got to see it. For the most part, I think I follow the story. I do have to say, the Universal Monsters mazes have always been on point and this is one is no different. However, I will say it is one of the weaker ones so far. The maze in itself is fine, but there’s somewhat of a “been there, done that” feel to it. Granted, we’ve never had so much Mummy, but after Bride of Frankenstein last year, I was really hoping we’d venture into some interesting stories. While the narrative is unique here, it feels same-y as things I’ve seen before. I’d love Creature from the Black Lagoon, Phantom of the Opera, or see what they could do with Invisible Man. And who cleared the Dracula design here? It looks like a children’s mask. This felt like Horror Nights to me though, the sets were beautiful, the atmosphere was thick, and the scares were pretty fierce. I could see this one getting a lot better throughout the run.
B
DEATH EATERS
These guys were so on their game, getting in your face with their wands, it was incredible how aggressive they were. For such a limited space, they truly owned it. The lights and sounds were a nice touch, and for it being a bonus zone, honestly felt like a highlight for me. I’m not a huge Harry Potter fan, but it was the talent involved here that elevated it.
HALLOWEEN
Advertised Wait: 60 minutes
Time in Line: 7:51pm
In the Maze: 9:05pm
Actual Wait: 74 minutes
My experience was soured by operations as the same thing that happened to Freak happened to me: I got to the front of the line and saw the hold up: I was literally on that last little spot and was held there for 10 minutes as they let in Express. How is this okay? On top of that, the Curious George parking lot is the absolute worst muggy heat while waiting. I honestly thought my night was ruined by how slow and hot this line was. And to top it off…the maze SUCKED. Halloween 4’s repeat last year saw some interesting additions and improvements. This not only was the same as 2015, but somehow WORSE — in design. What about the scare actors? None of them cared. Nobody was going for it. Just lumbering around slow. It’s bad enough they repeated the worse version of the first Halloween maze (the 09 version is FAR superior), but they couldn’t even put some gusto into it. I’m forgiving of repeats, but this was scraping the bottom of the barrel — just lazy on all accounts. If you can skip anything this year, let this be the one. I wish I did, because we missed a maze (Killer Klowns) and I sure wish I did that one instead.
F
DINNER
Was going to hit Scarecrow next but the line was 90 minutes, it was 9:00pm and my group was dying. And after that terrible experience, I can’t blame them. We needed energy so we hit Three Broomsticks. I still highly recommend this as oddly the most empty place you can find dinner in the park and also the best value.
UNIVERSAL HORROR HOTEL
Advertised Wait: 45 minutes
Time Line: 10:11pm
In the Maze: 10:35pm
Actual Wait: 24 minutes
Literally right after I got out of this maze and waited for La Llorona, this maze was at a zero minute wait. It was completely empty. I didn’t see anyone go in for long stretches of time. It was weird. Anyway, on to the maze…
I wasn’t expecting much, but this totally took me by surprise and ROCKED it from the moment it started. The little pre-show hanging started it off on a great note and the tub scene was fantastic too. After that, it was just pure chaos of story being thrown at us, that it was so hard to take it all in. The queue video tries to set things up nicely and from what I saw (the line was going QUICK by it), it set it up pretty well for me to gleam what was happening. The more I went into the maze, the more it felt like a labyrinth into madness. I hadn’t read any glowing reviews for this yet, so I was shocked, because this was by far my favorite so far (and spoiler alert: it edges out to be my number 1 for the event this year). The scares come from every angle in some rooms and everything just felt downright creative. For this to be a last minute replacement of Evil Dead Rise, I never would’ve known. It felt so grand in scope, it felt like the plan all along. And the length: wow, what a long maze! As soon as I thought it would end, it would just keep going and get scarier and scarier. Do not skip this one!
A
LA LLORONA: THE WEEPING WOMAN
Advertised Wait: 55 minutes
Time in Line: 10:41pm
In the Maze: 11:32pm
Actual Wait: 51 minutes
This line was moving super fast and then came to a halt at the last little bit as they let in Express. This is such a huge problem this year, it’s not even funny. The maze was going to be at most maybe 20 minutes and then 31 extra minutes were added for that final stretch before going in. I thought I wasn’t going to make Terror Tram for a second. Anyway, if you’ve seen this maze before, it’s still rockin’ like you remember! It’s been 10 years since the last La Llorona sighting and it still holds strong. The novelty may be gone for some of us, but my friends were absolutely terrified. I wouldn’t quite call it a best of ’11 and ’12’s version, as I think ’12’s version is the absolute best rendition of this maze. The horse stuff was missing in the ’12 version and it wasn’t necessarily missed. In some ways, it almost felt out of context here. Unfortunately, I think we hit a cast switch toward the second half of the maze because most of the talent was gone and nobody was in the bed being eaten. I will say that I wish they kept the prosthetic look of La Llorona as the face paint just isn’t quite as scary. For a repeat, this had great energy. This also made me realize what all the mazes are lacking this year — jaw dropping finales. They all kinda just…end. This one has that giant monster at the end that makes you run out, which I really appreciate. I don’t know why all the mazes this year don’t go for the big scare in the finale, but it really made me miss it when that was a thing and La Llorona was part of the evolution of that at HHNH in 2011 along with The Thing. Anyway, still a good maze, it’s just seen better days.
B-