Final HHN 33 Review
Repeated almost to the point of cliché by all us old-timers, but an off year. HHN 22/24 bad. The houses backslid: too few actors, effects too slow to re-set, ops obnoxiously placed, some houses too short. Worse, there seems to have been a general mandate to cut the number of actors per house—every one felt a bit understaffed with mechanical scares where traditionally there'd be an actor or two. The zones were an afterthought. I’m sure there was a creative brain drain (and financial drain) with the new park and trying to fix the new parade but it’s not like UOR discounted tickets. Hopefully next year sees a bounce back, I’ve never felt less motivated to go one final night.
Houses
10) Triplets of Terror – too short, too convoluted, too many obviously recycled sets (and yet another butcher shop felt lazy—bakery would’ve been more thematically on point). Couldn’t adequately tell its story—desperately needed a queue video or maybe to rely on the single-scene “podcast” element more. Not the worst ever, but bottom 10.
9) Montruos – probably better received if it wasn’t such a clone of the chupacabra house (Latin American streets, even another butcher shop). But this and SS2 were the houses where the lack of actors was most noticeable—way too much reliance on scrims hiding static figures. The much hyped animatronic was just ok – needed to distract from an additional live actor – while the final Muerte one looked cheap and simplistic compared to stuff you can buy in Spirit. Like the event, too forgettable to be truly bad, but not worthy of HHN.
8) Universal Monsters: Eternal Bloodlines – possibly my greatest disappointment ever. Credit where it’s due, the sets and costumes were great, and what actors there were nailed their roles. But the storyline was a jumbled mess that recycled too much from previous houses, and the slow re-sets on effects and often empty boo-holes made it even harder to follow. One egregious detail I had to highlight: the “Haunted Mansion” portrait was just cheesy in context and ruined my already tenuous suspension of disbelief. Broke the streak of good to great houses from the classic monsters, which is probably why I have it a slot or too lower than it maybe should be.
7) Slaughter Sinema II – as I said in my initial review, mostly eschewed comedy which turns this into a greatest hits collection of houses we’ll never actually see. A handful of the dramatic scenes were good, but devoid of storytelling context didn’t hit like they could’ve. (The shark scene was fine—now imagine that walking into that halfway through a real Jaws house.) The comedy scenes were cringe—Christmas has been done better at the event at least 3 times, Mummies Unwrapped was a clever punchline poorly executed. I guess Mardi Gras Murders and Ratchet and Chains were my favorite scenes, but both felt like previews for a coming attraction. Next to Monstruos, the house hurt most by having a limited cast. Most of the unmanned effects weren’t that scary in context (victim in Santa’s sack, clown poster).
6) A Quiet Place – as good as a book report house you could get out of this IP. The puppets actually worked quite well, highlight of the house. Actors didn’t really match the roles, but managed to re-create sets and capture the feel of the film. The flooded basement and marina were two of the more convincing water scenes the event has done. But I’m still left wondering, why this series instead of half a dozen better suited to the HHN treatment?
5) Museum: Deadly Exhibit -- ranking higher than most because in the end had two things going for it: a very good cast that improved with the season, and the house that best handled the seeming mandate to cut actors. Best use of window scares, the mask room worked quite well with a single actor. I liked the façade as well, gave me Yale Peabody Museum vibes, which set the house up perfectly. But still too many victim scares and the main villain Rotting Stone wasn’t creepy enough and built to a fizzle of a finale. Ops did this house no favors, either.
4) Insidious – a perfectly constructed house with a lot of effective scares. But like the Bourne Stuntacular, I marvel at the technical perfection of the sets and effects but just wish it was an IP I had any emotional investment in. Also, the greatest hits (v. book report) format deprived it of any storytelling momentum.
3) Major Sweets’ Candy Factory – to be clear, I’m still disappointed in the recycled “realistic industrial site” sets rather than something darkly whimsical like Wonka. But … the cast was on point, always seem to be enjoying their roles. Costumes were great, gags were innovative and genuinely funny. Managed to sneak in some real scares. The whole was greater than the sum of its parts. In 5 years, this may likely be the only 33 house I remember.
2) Ghostbusters: Frozen Empire – better than it had a right to be. Scenes and ghosts borrowed from the earlier movies were fun, and even scenes from the movie (the frozen meeting room) were better executed than in the movie. Special effects were amazing, when they worked. That said, other scenes, like the lab and the containment grid, kind of boring (like the movie they came from). And as the event dragged on, actors disappeared and effects broke (RIP Slimer). Still a good house, but those flaws keep it from being top tier.
1) Goblins Feast – probably my weakest HotY ever. But a unique and clever premise, solid storytelling, and a variety of monsters – everything I look for in a house. Cast was great too, really tried for scares. There’s nitpicks to be sure: almost as many recycled sets as Triplets (but better reworking), some of the rooms felt too large, all the signage and portraits felt more Kinkos than medieval, while some of the non-manned scares worked (the animatronic King), others did not (the screen-based giant). But the vibe kept it fun despite all that. This felt like something you could only experience at HHN.
Zones
5) Duality of Fear – No sets, just a few uninspired chainsaws in all black. I get there’s an issue using Minions Land, but this is not the solution.
4) Enter the Blumhouse – not even a photo op zone, a recycled costume zone. Once again impassable with even a small crowd.
3) Swamp of the Undead – Been to the event like 10x, still had to look this one up to remember what it was. Cast was fine, setting was forgettable. Bring back the pumpkins, move the actors elsewhere.
2) Demon Queens – no real storyline or theme, but random creatures at least tried to scare. Actors were fine, this was just a lazy design.
1) Torture Faire – another #1 by default. Sets were decent, actors a mixed bag but some were quite good. If anything, I wish it had leaned more into being a RenFaire rather than just medieval tropes. Where was the human chess game? The over-the-top Elvish princess with a 17th Century pirate trying to pretend they fit in? The turkey legs and giant beers? Could’ve gone a little more humor oriented. But at least most of the cast understood the assignment was to scare.
Final Thought: I hope EU is worth it.