THE CURSE OF PANDORA’S BOX
Advertised Wait: 70 minutes
Time in Line: 11:22
Time in Maze: 12:25
Actual Wait: 63 minutes
The line for this was ridiculous and just did not move. It looked smaller than 70 minutes so we figured to chance it, plus the last few lines were shorter than advertised. Nope, just line management at it’s finest, folks. Letting in 60 FOL/RIP people and only letting 5-7 people from the regular line. Without exaggeration, I counted them do that at least 3 times. Anyway, this has no effect on my score for the maze. Not like it matters, because it’s a freakin’ 0.
WHAT. WAS. THIS? And WHY? The moment I heard UV lit maze, I held my breath. And going through, in the first 10 seconds after that cool moment in the first scene, I knew it wasn’t going to go well. It was all down hill from there. I’ve hated on a lot of mazes in the past, but this was such a jumble of old stuff, it was almost insulting. Before I hate too much, let me get some positives out of the way. I liked the sound design. It was super intense and the maze felt like all action. Now, back to the negatives. There was ZERO tension because it was ALL action. Just scene after scenes of pure attack. Okay, another positive. Every scare actor was super aggressive. Back to my negatives. Every scareactor was so aggressive that none of it landed because it was a constant barrage of insanity. I wasn’t able to focus on anything. What happened in this maze? Who even knows. I just had flashback after flashback of mazes of old and their sets. You know how people complained about a prop or two returning in a maze like in 2014 or 2015? Prepare for entire scenes. If it wasn’t bad enough already, the Medusa puppet head was literally hitting the wall when I went through. Just embarrassing. Was there a climax even? And Pandora herself and the design? This maze just screams laziness around every turn. It’s such a shame such great actors are working it. I’m sure for that reason alone, this maze will have its fans. It sure is intense. But to me, it’s also nonsense. I feel like all skill, tact, and storytelling was thrown out the window for this one. This goes down in history next to TITE, Clowns 3D and First Purge as one of the worst and most headache inducing mazes I’ve ever encountered at HHN.
‘F’
US
Advertised Wait: 120 minutes
Time in Line: 1232
In the Maze: 1:02
Actual Wait: 30 minutes
Like Creepshow, I felt like there was a lot of stuff missing when I went through and when I watched this after on Youtube, I was assured that was true. However, I feel more apt to judge this one because a lot of the scenes worked how they were intended anyway. This was my most anticipated and it didn’t disappoint. It improved upon the movie in some very fun ways. Getting to live through it was much more scary.
The overall tone was perfect. The fear level built in every scene. If there wasn’t a scare, it just made the next scene build in dread because now I knew a scare was coming. The soundtrack was phenomenal. I do think the mirror portion in the beginning could be a bit better, but it definitely felt unsettling. Once the family arrives, all hell breaks loose, and in an a way that’s comprehensible. Those playing the leader of the Tethered was fantastic. Those movements were so spot on. The family jumping out in their specific spots to scare were so on point not only for the maze, but it didn’t even stray that far from the movie. I think it’s fantastic they somehow found the perfect way to adapt this without even having to take too many liberties like I thought they would.
The girl by the mirror cutting her face was the one of the best parts of the night. The way you have to walk around her and towards the guy in the doorway was just so unsettling. This maze has so many moments where you’re being set up for something else and it just worked in so many unnerving ways. The return to the mirror maze was fun, and the underground tunnels were a great creepy touch with tiny little bunnies everywhere. I loved the classroom bit, but from YouTube, I didn’t see the full version. I just got a creepy girl staring at me while moving to the music in a very specific and creepy way, which worked just like that. Another favorite is the final scare, that I won’t even spoil in this spoiler review. It’s the most freaky moment of the entire event and I’m overjoyed this maze got some major TLC to make certain moments work.
FACADE — 10. You get this facade twice!
SET DESIGN - 10. There was so much detail, even in something as simple as a living room.
SOUND DESIGN - 10. The “I Got 5 On It” plays in the whole maze and it’s awesome.
SCAREACTOR DESIGN - 10. The cast was so perfectly put together, is mostly what I’m thinking of. And the masks were so lifelike, it’s insane. The bulging eyes just made it that much scarier.
CAST PERFORMANCE - 10. Every one seemed to be on the same page and working towards a unified goal to scare the crap out of us.
ATMOSPHERE/TONE/IMMERSION - 9. Little moments like the car gag remind me, “oh yeah, I’m in a maze.” However, the tone was top notch and the most scared I felt the entire event. Just dread and feeling creeped out.
LENGTH - 10. This maze (and Pandora) felt so epically long.
SCARES - 10. Best scares of the night are here.
STORY - 10. The story points are brought up in the audio, really making sure the confusing stuff at least is conveyed. Seeing the movie definitely helps though.
PERSONAL BIAS POINTS - 10. As my most anticipated, I’m glad this worked out so beautifully, as it easily could’ve been a dud. Major props to this team.
99 out of 100. ‘A’+
OVERALL
I can’t give my final thoughts until I see Stranger Things. Or Creepshow when it’s fully on. I even would like to see Jabba. With my FFP, I will luckily get to fully absorb this event this year. As far as how good the overall year is, so far, it’s pretty just okay. I wasn’t blown away but I didn’t hate it. It falls down right in the middle for me. While I loved Us and Killer Klownz, all the other mazes are spread pretty decently across the spectrum. And there’s also two mazes I absolutely loathe. While there’s a lot of quantity, I do think quality suffered a bit. Not so much in a "budget is spread thin, look at all the black wallz, OMGGG" kind of way. Just creativity and focus. BTW, I'm not a black wall hater by any means, although 2017 was excessive and some mazes in 2018, but I don't remember too many this year. So be happy about that.
And having no Terror Tram really stole the heart and soul from what Hollywood represents. It was the one unique thing HHNH had and they should’ve held onto it as long as they could’ve. Getting rid of it, so far in my eyes, has been a horrible experiment so far. Lines are way longer, it feels like there’s less to do, and adding two more mazes just feels pointless when there’s two crap mazes (maybe even three, if ST is as bad as I hear). While I did heavily enjoy certain mazes, they definitely aren’t created equal. Oddly, my list of most anticipated is almost exact to how it panned out, which usually doesn’t happen for me as things at least swap, but this year it was pretty exact to my expectations of what I would and wouldn’t like.
While some of these mazes are going to be great by the end of the run, right now it’s pretty even across the board, which makes this above average, in general, but nothing stand out. Better than 2016? Not by a long shot. Better than 2018? For me, personally, I don’t even know if I could say that yet. I really loved the things people didn’t care for much last year, like TrT, Halloween, Stranger Things (later in the event), and HOB: Vol 2. For me, those were all solid ‘A’s. UCM was good, but not great. With Poltergeist being the only “meh” one of the bunch and First Purge just being trash. For me, Ghostbusters and Pandora are very, very, very strong Fs and are what bring the event down a bit, in my eyes. The odd-numbered year curse hasn’t been broken, at least not for me.
B+
RANKINGS —
MAZES:
AMAZING - Us, Killer Klownz from Outer Space
GREAT - Frankenstein Meets the Wolfman
GOOD - Holidayz in Hell
AVERAGE - Creepshow
OKAY - House of 1000 Corpses
BAD - N/A
WTF - Ghostbusters, The Curse of Pandora’s Box
SCAREZONES:
Christmas in Hell
All Hallow’s Evil
Spirits and Demons
Fallen Angels (I don’t think I even SAW this zone??? Was it front entry?)
OVERALL YEARS:
*PERFECT* - 16
AMAZING - 14, 08, 12, 10
GREAT - 13, 09, 18
GOOD - 19, 15, 11
AVERAGE - 07
OKAY - 17
BAD - N/A
WTF - N/A