Whylightbulb's criticisms are largely my own. First two scenes don't work. Not entirely because they are "screenz" but also because they do too much too quickly. A ride needs to build to its climax. How many times does Splash Mountain do a fakeout of the big drop? 4 or 5? Even Mansion, how long before you actually see ghosts?
Two rooms of physical sets, maybe some simple AAs, would do a better job of priming guests for the tunnel (which is the main event). Build a sense of foreboding, then let all hell break loose.