It’s me, OrlandoGuy, logging in after my latest crash-out. Why? Because like so many people here, I got to visit Epic Universe a few weeks ago. And my reaction could be summed up in one word:
Disappointed.
But that’s not the review I want to write today. I was invited to go again after a couple of friends bought general public preview tickets; with nothing better to do I ended up going for a second time this past weekend. And despite hotter weather, heavier crowds, and more ride downtimes than my first visit, I left the park feeling infinitely higher on it than on my first trip.
The problem with my first visit wasn’t Epic Universe—it was the narrative surrounding it. For months now, it’s been a sort of status symbol for people: theme park lifestylers who want a new place to call their own, online fanboys who want to brag about being first to anything, theme park vloggers who need to protect their media credentials, etc. All of these people have a vested interest in Epic Universe being the greatest thing to happen to mankind, even if it means hyperbolizing some reactions along the way. This then leads to equally hyperbolic counter-criticisms, which are fended off by even more exaggerated praise, and the feedback loop goes on and on.
Epic Universe is a great park. It’s one I’m already looking forward to going back to a third time. But for me, that is dependent on totally refined expectations, starting with…
Helios Grand
What The Hype Said: A luxury resort akin to The Four Seasons upping the game in theme park resorts.
My Thoughts (Visit 1): It doesn’t compare well to actual luxury hotels. The food is admittedly very good (albeit overpriced) and the views of the park are stunning. Aside from that, it’s really nothing special. The service was fine (some staff are still finding their rhythm which is understandable), the room fixtures were okay (I’d go as far as to say the headboards/carpet are tacky and the bedding is sub-par, but that’s just me), and the amenities are extremely standard (gym, pool, restaurant, bar…check). I’m baffled by the decision to orient the pool chairs facing the Monsters building instead of the other way around, and as much as people want to write that off, it does detract from the overall vibe of the space. I think it’s priced about 25%-30% too high right now; for the same rate I paid, I could stay a few miles away at the JW Grande Lakes and have a far superior pool, more extensive dining options, a golf course, bigger gym, etc. The real benefit (for me) was the ability to attend previews without an AP.
My Thoughts (Visit 2): I didn’t stay here Visit 2. But having been herded in with the masses that morning, I missed the exclusive entrance. After one too many sugary drinks at the Tiki Bar, I realized I took for granted having a private bathroom steps away from Frankenstein’s Castle. I wanted to be back, regardless of the room quality and pool views. It’s not the best hotel I’ve ever stayed in, but it’s a very effective convenience play.
The Rides
What The Hype Said: I had been led to believe that Monsters Unchained was the among the greatest achievements in theme park history, Ministry of Magic was a technological marvel, Stardust Racers was in the conversation to dethrone Velocicoaster, Hiccup’s was a dark horse favorite, and (dating back 10 years) Mario Kart would prove to be the ultimate Flight of Passage/Rise of the Resistance killer.
My Thoughts (Visit 1):
- Monsters Unchained - an undoubtedly cool queue, amazing pre-show (
the character work here between Igor, Victoria, and Frankenstein is amazing; that they have definable qualities within a 4 minute experience is an incredible testament to the Creative Team
), and an absolutely
-
insane amount of state-of-the-art animatronics
. But to be in the conversation of best ever, to me, implies a level of immersion and storytelling that wasn’t there for this ride. I noticed that you could see I-Drive nearly unobstructed from the extended queue; this proved to be an omen, as the entire ride felt like a very impressive tech demo where incredibly elaborate vignettes were strung together by duct tape and bubble gum. No matter what is happening directly in front of you, it’s impossible to shake the sense that you’re just in a big empty warehouse.
This is encapsulated by the first Igor animatronic: an amazing figure in an incredibly well-designed set…surrounded by black curtains and sitting across a ride track and metal evac path that are clear as day.
There’s just something missing to connect all of the fun stuff together, not only from a physical design standpoint but from a storytelling standpoint as well (
Besides the plot being incoherent, the ending feels poorly planned and abrupt as well
).