KNOTT'S SCARY FARM 2022 REVIEW
It's been quite some time since I last visited Knott's. 2017 was the last time I visited as a guest, although I worked as a scareactor and was able to experience bits and pieces of the 2018 and 2019 seasons. Going into this, it meant that a lot of their offerings were brand new to me. I arrived around 6:00 and quickly made my way through security and the turnstiles. I know that the new bag policy can be a hassle, but the upside was that the security check was so streamlined that we were able to just walk through the metal detectors single file.
Met my party near the Ghost Town marquee and waited for the opening scare-a-monies. We parted through the crowd and headed straight for guest services as my friend was using crutches and had a busted knee. Unfortunately, the new disability access pass has very limited capabilities, so either he could wait near the maze entrance while we held the place in the standby queue or he could just wait with us, which felt very counterintuitive. Those headaches aside, we decided to hit all the Ghostrider mazes since we were in the vicinity.
The Depths
No wait here, we just filed right into the maze. Nothing has changed about this maze, which is fine since its setting and atmosphere are top notch. Monsters still filled every room, all the effects were working. Swamp room with the lazers was on fire as well as the ending in the shark cove. This is the maze I worked my debut year, so all the heartaches and grief it gave me were muted and I was able to just appreciate it for what it was. Hopefully next year they can plus it with some new scenes. B+
Dark Entities
This maze was a total dud. Lack of monsters, uninteresting set design (way too many open rooms with nothing really happening, what a waste of space). Really feels like it's hanging on by a thread and just waiting to be put out of its misery. F
Wax Works
The first maze new to me, but a total surprise! This feels like the spiritual successor to the gory mazes of Scary Farm past, including Doll Factory or Slaughterhouse. The sets are very gritty and feel lived in, the monsters were all on their A game, and the maze felt very long considering it's one of the smallest warehouses in this area of the park. The water effects were very nasty and very effective. Queue video was well put together and hilarious. Just an overall winner. A
At this point it was barely 7:45, but the fourth maze, Bloodline 1842 was already at a posted 90 minute wait. We decided to hedge our bets and head out into the park to see what else was good. Ghost Town Streets might have a claim as the best theme park scarezone of all time. I could spend an entire season just bearing witness to the insane energy of the Ghost Town monsters and their escapades, they deserve a reality series or something. Saw a slider chasing a hysterically screaming woman running only on his knees and was seriously impressed. Their dedication is astounding and worthy of all the praise. A+
Origins: The Curse of Calico
My favorite maze from 2019, Origins only had a small line so we hopped in. Immediately, the scareactors in the queue were hyping up the crowd and getting us primed for the hanging of Sarah Marshall. These guys were so fun and engaging and really do a great job selling you on the story. The maze itself is unchanged but just as gorgeous as I remember. It's a total love letter to the history of Scary Farm and it's Ghost Town streets and really makes me wish every zone had a corresponding maze. The part that gets me is when we walk into the muddy streets of Calico whilst still inside the Dance Hall. It's so grand and well-designed, on par with the sets of HHN Orlando. Catawampus was there when we went through. Only downside is some areas were void of monsters. Otherwise a welcome return. A-
We veered past Calico Rapids and saw the queue for Grimoire had extended all the way past the merch kiosk and was posted at 75 minutes, so we decided to venture in search of food. The Goreing 20's was next on our trip and boy what a doozy. Ghost Town nonwithstanding, this is how to do a scarezone. The plentiful monsters representing all different aspects of the zone, a troupe of ragtime dancers and a LIVE JAZZ BAND? It's like a Bob Fosse wet dream and I was here for it. I wanted to soak in the ambiance so I got a beer from the new pizza place and strolled about leisurely. The prohibitionist leader with the picket sign was a hoot. He was leading a crowd in a chant saying "Prohibition is the mission!" to which I raised my cup to join in and he stopped and chastised me. This zone needs a maze in the old bumper cars location and it would pack such a punch. A+
We then made our way past the fountain and into the Carnevil section of the Boardwalk. The clowns as usual were a riot. So funny and quite menacing. More than once they teamed up to scare the most impressionable member of our group and got her to break from the pact. I feel like a little more theming in this area would really add to the ambiance. A-
Mesmer: Sideshow of the Mind
This was another maze entirely new to me and wow what an experience. Full disclosure: at this point in the night, the edibles I had eaten earlier and drinks I had imbibed had really saturated my body and left me in a pleasant stupor. However, it also made me the prime candidate for this maze. This is like, one of the most abstract themes I've ever seen pulled off at a haunt. A sojourn into the dark circus of the mind? Every room presents a unique flavor and brings a sense of dread, wonder, and intrigue. The cast knew what kind of experience they were tailoring: this isn't a pop out and say "BOO" or bang on the walls maze. Instead, there's a sense of play and curiosity that abounds in every corner. At one point we're stopped by a harlequin and made to play peek-a-boo with her. After which point her companion leaped from a hidden corner and scared us shitless with a second "I SEE YOU!" The sets in here are phenomenal, from the claustrophobic spider's lair to the tilting art deco chamber. Just a resounding success on all fronts and a total trip. A+++
PART TWO BELOW